Bag lady

I recently saw a commercial for President's Choice green shopping bags - a durable, re-usable, shopping bag made from 85 per cent post-consumer recycled plastic. Then in the NY Times Urban Eye, I read about Anya Hindmarch’s “I’m Not a Plastic Bag” totes.

Now, apparently one billion plastic shopping bags end up in Canadian landfills every year. Americans throw away about 100 billion plastic bags a year. All these bags, made from polyethylene (petroleum product) require some 12 million barrels of oil to produce every year, and take as long as 500 years to degrade. In the meantime, they catch on power lines and trees, float on oceans and lakes and clog storm drains, and kill birds, fish, turtles and sea mammals that ingest or become entangled in them.

This got me thinking (always a dangerous feat), how could they (you know, "they", as in "they say....."), when plastic bags became widely popularized in the 1980s, not have foreseen what a huge, and totally unnecessary problem this would become? Like, there was NO inkling that we would eventually end up in the situation we're in now?

Amazing.

In other news, I had my groceries double bagged at Safeway last night.

I'm kidding! Sheesh, take a joke you fucking hippy.

Why am I such a lazy blogger?

Seriously? Last post July 6th? It's not like I have a life that keeps me busy.

Anyway, last week I noticed a sign in the ladies bathroom at work that read, "Please flush toilet completely." I raised an eyebrow as I had always thought this to be common knowledge and bathroom etiquette. However, the fact that someone needed to put a sign up was evidence to the contrary.

Later in the week, upon entering a stall, I noticed the sign now also appeared on the back of the stall door.

Ladies, I ask you, do we really have that much of a problem with this that we need not one, but two signs PER STALL reminding us to flush well?

Just one of those you-can't-make-this-shit-up (pun intended) workplace ditties. Ridiculous.

Kinda makes me want to lay a big deuce and walk away.

Things I want banned from my planet - vol. 1

Printed pants - you know, pants that have prints: flowers, cherries, kittens, etc. The only place you should be going in printed pants is to bed.

And never, never, under ANY circumstances, should you wear printed pants and the SAME printed top.

Enough said.

Rage filled diatribes

I saw a commercial for KFC's chicken bowl tonight - mashed potatoes topped with corn, popcorn chicken, gravy and shredded cheese. Seriously, is that not the most unhealthy entre you've ever heard of?

Let's break it down - starch, topped with starch, deep fried chicken, processed cheese and a thickened sauce made from extracts that run from meat when cooking, and probably a little used cooking oil.

I don't know why the kernel didn't just call it heart attack in a bowl.

******

I went grocery shopping today at Safeway in the village. The shelves were virtually empty and check-out line-ups were down the aisles. I began to think there was an impending nuclear holocaust that everyone but I was aware of. I waited in line for over 30 minutes (also known as a half hour). On the upside, I read an entire InStyle magazine. On the down side, I saw way too many couples being overly affectionate for my liking. I mean, I know you're in love, but is it really necessary for me to bear witness to the physical expression of your love while I am buying soy milk and cherries? I don't think so.

******

And finally, (and what's probably really made me so deliciously bitchy tonight) I ask - if you and your "friend" had a huge fight about another friend and the other friend's pick-up tactics, which at times border on stalking, would you be somewhat under-amused when said "friend" calls being all cutesy and "apologizing"/admitting you were right after witnessing other friend in action? I thought so. For the record, I was right, so choke on a fucking chicken bone, buddy.

Suddenly, I feel better. Night night.

Penelope the new tenant

July long weekend went by way too fast. And I only got a sliver of sun this afternoon.

For some reason, I find this SNL skit SO funny. I am going to start doing this to people at work and in life.

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/63321/detail/

Must sleep now.