Why am I such an ass?

From: Jo
To: Treen; Donni
Subject: tired
Date: Wed, 20 Jun 2007 23:02:36 -0500

Hey gals! thought i would email you two since I had to come downstairs and clean the A/C vent. Also I apologize that I haven't emailed you two in a while, obviously I am the glue that sticks us together as I notice w/o me and my daily emailings, nothing goes on. You can't tell me you two uppity career women don't have time for your unemployed homemaker mother friend now?? Or treen are you just corresponding with all your facebook friends only? (which would NOT include you donni!!)

Anyhoot the real reason for the mail is just to let you know treen, donni's half of the gazillion dollar gift card has finally gone through (after some calls to the lending institutions) and the gift is now really from both of us.

Did you guys use it yet? Whatever you do, DON'T go to the sucky Home Depot on Bishop. Try and find the one where Trading Spaces is or where Andrew Bojumbo (or whatever the hell his name is) is. Let us know how you spend your gazillion dollars.

enjoy your day ladies.

love me, jj


From : Donni
Sent : June 22, 2007 9:10:13 PM
To : Jo; Treen
Subject : RE: tired

So anyway, Treen, as I was saying in one of our sixteen daily emails (or was it in one of our four daily calls? no? the nine texts, maybe then?), 9:30 am tomorrow in front of the St. Norbert Foodland sounds good.

After we buy premium priced, farm-fresh organic fruits and vegetables (and hemp-based beauty products!) from the farmers' market, we can have a (substitute) egg-white only and steamed mushroon omelet with a side dandelion salad (picked only after they wilted so as not to harm any of God's creation) brunch at a trendy bohemian-chic vegan bistro (maybe Sienna Miller will be there!) and have an engaging roundtable discussion on how we can reach our career goals and shatter the glass ceiling.

Woo! Let's hear it for CEOs with vaginas!

PS - bring your SUV. We'll pretend they're hybrids.

Disclaimer: Jo, for the purpose of, you know, THE WORLD reading my blog, I've taken the liberty of correcting your spelling errors (just the major ones) because, well, I'm embarrassed for you, really.